Communication in relationships: how important?
Posted by Manuel
A month back, I had a terrible problem with my throat. I was restricted to speak for days. I thought I would not survive like that. I had my office, my family to take care of. I started writing notes. I somehow in few days was able to get in the habit and not speaking. Surprisingly, I never felt I knew my family and colleague as much.
Silence taught me how important communication in relationships is especially listening. Before I had lost my voice, I did not care what people wanted to say; it was all about me, about what I wanted to tell them. I used to interrupt often.
People usually think they are listening but instead they are I n another world thinking of something else. Most of the times it’s about what I am going to say when he/she stops talking. Communication in relationships is very important and the most valuable aspect of communication is t listen. Understand and then reflect on what the other person is trying to get through you.
Stop thinking about yourself the whole time. When you are angry instead of shouting on that person saying “you are of no use” etc. try putting it in a different way like “I don’t understand why you do this” etc. also, try to understand everybody’s needs apart from always trying to the win the fight.
Example of communication in relationships
Another example to prove the communication in relationships is the parent children relationship. A teenager asks her mom about abortion. But the mother instead of listening to her completely shouts at her saying she never wants to hear such a word. The mother might never get to know why the question was raised and the girl she will never discuss another serious or controversial topic again. I wonder how many times a friend, spouse sabotage the conversation by commenting or being judgmental.
Appreciate. When your kid comes up to you with a drawing or a craft; I am sure he must be giving anything to hear a small nice or just a smile from you. Instead most parents do a “head talk” and tell them how bad they have done it. I know they mean well but the responses diminish the kid’s sense of achievement. And in the near future, the child is never going to come back to asking for help.
Express you love. If you really feel for them, tell them. There is this particular lady (say X) I know, a mother, attractive and financially well off. While playing a game of truth and dare, she was asked about a hurtful moment. She replied she always had wanted a kiss from her mother.
She was six years of age asking her mom to kiss her. Instead the mother had replied that she was too old for it. So X used to go to the washroom to take her mother’s tissue which was smeared with lipstick and kept it. She used to stain her cheeks with it whenever she was in need of a kiss.
I hope you understood the effect of communication in relationships and how it helps you to find the solace you always have wanted!